Beauty Isn’t Worth Money, Honey

Here’s a surprise post from my 10-day hiatus.

I was checking out Soompi forums this morning and stumbled upon this thread, which quoted a real advertisement from Craigslist where a “spectacularly beautiful” girl is looking for “guys who make 500k or more…for marriage only.” Basically she’s an honest gold digger. And I have to applaud her for her honesty. But the gem in the Craigslist ad wasn’t her post, but one guy’s reply. Here is how the conversation proceeded. Enjoy!

(I am aware that many people have seen this, I haven’t because I don’t do email forwards. I bite people’s heads off when they send me forwards, so I’m slow with these things. Sorry!)

Girl: What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 – 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to Central Park West. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

  • Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms.
  • What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings
  • Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?
  • Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?
  • Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
  • How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults – I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them – in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

Guy: Absolutely hilarious but true

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful” as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way. Classic “pump and dump.” I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

Ivy’s 2 Cents

Why do rich men marry plain janes, you ask?

A woman’s power (over men) is not her beauty, not her sexuality, not even her brains. It’s her confidence and trustworthiness. How many of the top 10 self-made billionaires actually have babes or geniuses for wives? Look at Melinda Gates, Susan Buffett, Astrid Menks. None of them are particularly hot, particularly smart or particularly sexy. But they do have something that you don’t:

They got their husbands’ backs when it counts.

With their confidence and trustworthiness, these women become the pillars of support when a man breaks down. Every A-grade intelligent men would recognize this. It is this reason that plain janes, and not beautiful gold diggers become their wives. Only B/C-grade men like the producer of The Apprentice goes for your type. And you know what? His wealth is also B/C-grade in comparison to Bill Gates and Warren Buffett. So what does that make you? A B/C grade wife.

You, lady, are like a fancy sports car. Your beauty shocks and awes. Yet your price will depreciate the moment you have been sold. Within 5 years, a newer, sexier, smarter car will replace you. Such is the fate of superficial beauty.

Those women, Melinda and Astrid, are like a vast piece of land. On the surface, they are nothing but grass and dirt. But their strength and their passion will one day become the foundation of a beautiful mansion to house a family through rain and through shine. And on that day, their worth would far exceed what money can buy.

This, my friends, is the power of an A-grade wife.

So, what are your thoughts on this Craigslist ad?

Still on Hiatus

Dear Visitors and Subscribers:

I am still on my hiatus. I will be back at full speed on March 24th – as promised. On top of a new layout and many blog entries, I will also be launching a new web project. I even bought a new domain for it! But only time will unfold it. Actually, you could find the URL for my new project if you poke around Nanyate?! a little bit. Heh! See you!

Love, Ivy


  • http://michaelpark.net Michael

    In another word, marriage is all about trustful lifelong friendships with benefits. 😉

  • http://www.mapiles.com Joliber Mapiles

    Nice thread..

    A girl who is so honest and smart..

    A guy who is so frank…

    Nice Ivy.. this post made me smile..

  • http://www.theolivewaking.com/ Momo

    Geesh Ivy,
    you like to keep people in suspense.

    This post is exactly something related to the topic on my mind recently. Heh thanks.

  • http://sigg3.net Sigg3

    I tell it how it is cause I’m a goldfigga
    And I hate a money hungry girl a.k.a. golddigger
    It ain’t even funny
    Some girls don’t even know me askin me can they get some money
    I’m lookin nuthin like ya poppa
    I wouldnt give a chick 10 cent to put cheese on a whopper

  • http://sigg3.net Sigg3

    I haven’t heard the term “plain Jane” before, and I must say that I really dislike it.

    Every human being is unique and it is this uniqueness that arouses curiosity, attraction and love on my part. Don’t get me wrong, beauty is important to me, but there are endless ways to be beautiful; you’d be amazed.

    This girl just sounds like a lookie. Or maybe she’d more rightly fit the term “plain Jane”….
    Btw, the quote above was Big L :)

  • http://vagabond.vrien-den.com/ ingSiang

    I was pretty late too, came across this last week, lol. Nice comment there, hehe, and yea, those rich men who love hot babes around them are not the A-grade one, mostly millionaires only, lol.

  • http://another.pieceofsky.org k

    hmm…

    what happened to plain ol’ simple love???

    sometimes i think relationships have become somewhat of a biz deal – i have what you want, you give me what i want. not that it’s good or bad, but…. *shrugs*

  • http://www.teddy-o-ted.com teddY

    Hey Ivy thanks for sharing this, even though you’re getting so busy lately :) I guess this is one of the many thought-provoking posts you’ve written.

    Like what Sigg3 has pointed out, I never believed in the existence of “plain jane”. Everyone, regardless of gender, is unique from each other in one way or another, there’s no way for you to find someone who has the exact personality as you. I guess what is simple, plain old true love is trust and bond between couples, nothing beats than, even if there’s 500million or 500trillion. So what does 500k mean?

    I find disturbing that there are actually such people looking for rich guys because they are beautiful, articulative and such. I find people who “sell” themselves despicable, although I find their courage impressive, I’ll not hold them in high opinion. The very basic principle of self-existence and validation is NOT to let someone put a price tag on your – you’re your own master, nobody could ever use (and you never let someone) use money to buy you.

    So what if you have a husband that earns 500k a month? So what if you find that rich husbands out there have “plain jane” wives? Will that bring you happiness and convince them that you’re a better candidate than all the “plain janes” out there?

    Beauty fades over time, that’s for sure. What really makes a normal couple to reach a successful, blissful marriage that extend into your old age is true love, trust, care for each other, sincere concern.

    There’s more than meets the eye. But for that girl, what I see in her soul is just nil. She has absolutely no self-worth and respect, how pathetic.

  • http://jcdrkawaii.blogspot.com/ kirin

    Hi, IVY.
    I enjoyed reading the thread.
    Marriage is not trading but is caring and sharing.

    I’m looking forward to your new site :)
    I’m very much interested in wordpress.
    Do we need special skills to manage it, like HTML? I’m also thiking of launching a site in Japanese with worldpress, but at a moment, I just don’t know anything about it so….I should spare some time to study that…

  • http://its-olivia.com (Olivia)

    I think it just depends. On the man and the woman. There are some men who just want a trophy, and will wife the first beautiful woman who says yes. There are others who won’t tie the knot until they’ve come to know, trust, and love the woman for years.

    I think that woman just needs to run across the right guy.
    Rather than attempt to tailor herself to the general male population.

    Hiatus my foot, lol. You know you can’t stay away!

  • http://apresmoi.net Melle

    This reminds me so much of the “Real Housewives of New York City” there husbands are all incredibly rich and the women are not very good looking–but they try, very hard to look “amazing” or to “maintain”. But the thing is, they also met their husbands when they were down and out and not as fabulously rich as they are now. I guess sticking by their husbands from when they were dirt poor made them the perfect wives.

    It’s a good thing I really hate it when people try to support me financially — unless they are my parents in which it is their duty (and pleasure ^_^). I can’t even stand it when I have a guyfriend who wants to buy me lunch.

  • http://ransomletters.org heather

    I too haven’t read this. I cyber beat ppl with clubs who sent forwards hum the only ppl who I can’t get to stop sending them are my in laws. I sometimes think they sit around all day reading stupid forwards but this one is interesting. this chick… I dunno wtf most ppl just try and find love…not money. maybe I’m old fashioned. maybe she needs someone to pay for all her loans for her plastic parts! I like confidence but I hate ppl who are full of themselves.

  • http://www.little-wonder.net Brenda

    In the past, I never had any respect for people who simply marry for their spouse’s money. But that seems to have changed now.

    I guess everyone has different viewpoints on marriage. Not that I condone the above now – I still have my qualms, but I’ve learnt to be more accepting towards it. After all, we all come from different backgrounds. Some deem love and understanding as they key element of a relationship (and thereafter, marriage). Others desire financial stability. Others want security. Whereas others want the opportunity to live like a ‘rich tai tai’ and spend extravagantly.

    After all, we only have one life to live.

    I salute that girl for her honesty. Not many people are actually willing to be as open as that.

  • http://www.theolivewaking.com/ momo

    something i want to add is there’s a chinese saying … something along the lines of couples can go through sufferings and poorness madly in love with each other but when they made it through and become rich … they cannot stand others anymore…

    I don’t know if I agree but I see so many examples of these. So I think, the women whom stuck by their husband’s side and still have good relationship afterwards are truly amazing (personality wise).

    what’s a shrine?

  • http://thelainey.com lainey

    “I bite people’s heads off when they send me forwards”

    yes…an assassination attempt will be made to anyone who sends me a forward..lol

    but hey that man’s response was hilarious

  • http://silencios.org Lene

    o_O Now that’s an strange moment to decide to be honest! I think it’s good that she stumbled upon one smart guy that would put her in her place. Unfortunately, there are still a lot of people (including rich people) who just go for a trophy wife without even considering everything the guy on craiglist pointed out. If only every guy thought like him.

  • http://www.silvercpu.com/blog Lissy

    If the situation were revered and she had tons of money, do you think she would be looking for some hot guy? Well, she probably be looking for some guy with even more money, but either way, I don’t see how she could truly believe looks are that important.

    *sigh* peoples

  • http://simply-precious.net Simply Precious

    Damn, I can’t wait to see your new project in action!! 😉 Hehehe!

    Anyways, yeah, like what Lissy said, people these days… I can’t understand getting married for ANYTHING other than for love/companionship…

  • http://www.everdestiny.com Destiny

    I thought that was absolutely hilarious and wonderful.
    Thank you for sharing!! I shared it as well! hahaha
    I had a good laugh from it.

  • http://www.notbrainwashersafe.com Id

    I’m still quite cynical about the whole love, companionship, relationship hullabaloo, and I think we have discussed something similar in nature when you were here last summer but I believe it all boils down to one thing:

    Eventually your boobs will reach the floor that you have to tie them up behind your head, but as long as you have each other’s back, you’re pretty much golden (pun intended).

    Wow, that’s gonna stir up disturbing images, eh? =P Can’t wait to see the new layout! =D

  • Toni

    That’s hilarious! oh man..I love the guy’s response, it’s so truee!! The fact that this is real..makes it even more amusing!

  • http://WWW.fauxyou.org Marian

    This was and honestly good post to read, your explanation is 100% creditable. I have no more to say you said it all.

  • Megan

    Ivy!

    Omg, I just stopped by your site (linked via facebook), and I must say it’s so prettyyyyy! You’ve inspired me, maybe I’ll actually spend this summer learning how to design webpages seeing as I always keep bugging you to teach me lol.

    At any rate, I just wanted to say that I laughed so hard when I read your entry! I’m going to post this as a note on Facebook I hope you don’t mind, it’s just too good.

    Good luck with assignments and exams, I wish you luck! And we should get together for a coffee date soon, I would love to catch up!

    – Megan.

  • http://yappyness.com/ Yappy

    Basically, girlfriends can be pretty but wife must be trustworthy.

    I applaud that woman for her honesty though.

    Btw, saw your web project site and your new layout (if I didn’t mistaken), seems like you’re making good progress. All the best!

  • http://www.stompy.us Nel

    Hey Ivy can’t believe you’re still on hiatus, it seems like forever before you’ll come back!
    I’ve fixed the error with the sidebar and I’m busy updating my links and adding you to my blogroll :)

    This post is really funny, I can’t believe that its true, both the guy and the girl were honest with each other although the guys response made me laugh out loud. I guess if you are going to approach it from a business deal then you gotta be prepared to understand that beauty fades..and be prepared that if a rich guy marries you because you’re beautiful then as soon as you grow old then he’ll just replace you with a younger “model”. I guess thats why its better to marry for love and grow old together…

  • http://mrjavo.com/ Mr. Javo

    Hey Ivy! I enjoy reading this story.

    I think that you should get marriage if you are in love. If you don’t eventually you will leave it… The money is not all in this life

  • http://www.islaperdida.net Daniela

    I like the guy’s answer. And as you pointed out, a woman is not only her beauty, but millions of things more, and that holds true for every woman out there. For, me, I know that money surely counts, but I want to marry for love, not for money….

  • http://trangdo.com Trang

    LOL, this is freaken hilarious

    great read, haha

  • http://twentyfourcarat.net katy

    Lol I read that ad a while ago and couldn’t stop laughing. It’s sad but true.. being only being hot won’t get you that far in life. Smart business men would probably be looking for woman who is strong, independant and trustworthy for a permanent wife, not some dumb, hot, blond bimbo.

  • starwalker

    i hate gold digger! – starwalker

  • http://www.silent-emotion.org Nanda

    Haha I love the guy’s response to it. I don’t understand why a woman (or anyone in general, really) would want something like that. Anyway it’s totally true what the guy said and it made me smile. Marriage isn’t about money, it’s about unconditional love.

  • http://henbima.com Henbima

    Bravo Ivy! Great and provoking post!

    I wonder, how beautiful is this woman really are.. Wanna see her 500k face :)

  • http://misstuned.com/ Mari

    That woman’s gold-digging “I only want 500k+ men” attitude kinda really sickened me. But that’s just because I can’t imagine why you’d need more than 50k a year…

    In any case, this was a fwd type thing that was actually worth reading. I loved his blunt response.

    A random remark: your layout is so lovely that my brain just exploded. <3 Simple, and clean, yet not truly minimalistic. I love going to sites where people have mad crazy design skills. *adds to RSS reader*

  • http://apresmoi.net Melle

    Whaaaat? Leaving Canada for good? LOL, I am so nosy, I saw your comment on Katy’s site! XD

  • http://twentyfourcarat.net katy

    Hehe it’s okay.. I understand that you’re busy. It’s almost time for finals isn’t it? Good luck with your school!

  • http://verbalism.org Kiera

    That guy’s reply was pure awesome, plain and simple.

  • Dan

    This gal is the very reason that american guys who have a good incomes are looking overseas for value in a companion.
    As Ivy appropriately said, “Within 5 years, a newer, sexier, smarter car will replace you” the guys who go live overseas can replace the old model annually if the old one breaks down too quickly. Foreign women are generally more interested in non-financial factors, They know that an American man seeking a relationship with them has a good income to be begin with, so they focus on other more important things the man has to offer.

  • Dada

    I’m gay