My new year resolution came early — in November 2011. It’s to treat my body better. I’ve had a terrible track record at taking care of my body. Having been plagued by an autoimmune disease for a decade, my body has always seemed more like a liability than an asset to me. It doesn’t help that I naturally enjoy spending a lot of time developing my mind either. The only thing I do fairly well in recent years is that I pay attention to what I eat.

But then I got really inspired. While flipping through the boyfriend’s e-book collection, I stumbled upon Mark Lauren’s You are your own gym. Mark said something that really struck a chord:

It blows me away every time I walk into a nice home and meet its proud, overweight, out-of-shape owner. They just don’t get it. Your real home is not your apartment or your house or your city or even your country, but your body. It is the only thing you, your soul, and your mind, will always live inside of so long as you walk the earth. It is the single most important physical thing in this world you can take care of.

Touché!

The premise of his book suits my lifestyle too. No gyms, no expensive equipment required! All I need is to dedicate about 20 minutes a day doing bodyweight exercises. Just me, the floor and the occasional prop – chair, towel, door, etc – whatever’s lying around the house. It’s not a lot compared to what the gym rats are doing but 20 mins is better than 0 mins!

I’ve been doing the basic bodyweight exercises, on top of my Wii routine, for a little over a month now, and I feel great! I’m less tired in general. My stomach and arms are getting trimmer too! So yeah, I hope to keep this up for a long time to come.

So what are your new year resolutions? Do share them in the comments below!

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The professionals shared the ins and outs of business of engineering — how to climb the ladder, how much money can be made, and what are the viable career paths. On the other side, the audience is made up of 16 year olds whose most immediate concern is getting an A+ in next week’s Calculus class, and who see work as a distant reality. And because they see work as a distant reality, they still have big hopes and dreams about changing the world.

This is a good example of how our mentalities evolve (or devolve?) to cope with our surroundings. I’m at a point in my life where I’m clumsily stumbling into adulthood, while I reluctantly shed the husk of childhood. So I can understand both sides of the story. A part of me hopes I can make an impact on the world — no matter how big or small. At the same time, I’m also fully aware of the harsh demands of real life, and can appreciate the guidance the panel is trying to give.

This disconnect between the kids and the adults is something that we as a society really need to reflect upon. Why do we make it so difficult to change the world with unnecessary impediments like bureaucracy and implicit social rules? If we truly want to create a better tomorrow, we need to create the right environment and conditions for it today.

On the other hand, if we are happy with the status quo, then we need to manage our kids’ expectations — that work is not really about building a future, but surviving through a stagnating present that we as adults are unwilling or unable to let go. In this case, we should expose our kids to the harshness of real life at a much younger age, so they can be better prepared for the “future” that awaits them, lest they become soon-to-be-disillusioned 25 year olds like me.

And if there’s something I learned over my 3.5 years in real life, it’s that all resources — time, money, psychic energy — are finite. You only have enough to dedicate to preserving the present or funding the future. You can’t have both. So we as adults need to seriously consider what we want to dedicate ourselves to before we start talking to kids.

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Into my teens, I became more fascinated with society. How the world ended up going into two world wars, and why the French Revolution happened.

And as I stepped into my college years, I discovered the world of political philosophy. What is a good, virtuous life? What is a good, virtuous society? Justice? Love? Beauty?

Or is it Truth and Wisdom?

Now into my 20s, my pursuit for philosophical knowledge progressed into my thirst for psychology. Why do people do the things they do, say the things they say? More importantly, why do I do the things I do, why do I say the things I say?

Then, I could see — see how the world really worked. How one act, one thought, one feeling can affect the whole world. And that everything in this world was connected one way or another.

I thought bliss would come with knowledge and wisdom. I thought truth and enlightenment would make life more fulfilling.

But it didn’t.

I’ve fallen into a funk recently. I can’t bring myself to read another book and my Google Reader has been showing 1000+ for the past few weeks. A part of me can’t help but feel like that there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. That my generation will be forced to clean up the impending mess that humanity’s collective actions of the past and present are bringing. It’s a dreadful feeling. A lost hope. A lost generation. (The link points to a fantastic read by Umair Haque, by the way.)

The same part of me also wished I hadn’t embarked on this journey. I used to scoff at the idiom Ignorance in bliss. But now I’m starting to see that there’s perhaps some virtue in ignorance.

But of course, one can’t possibly unsee what one sees. I can only continue walking until I reach my destination. Hopefully, the Sun Socrates promised will still be waiting when I get there.

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I like exploring the realms of philosophy and psychology but I’ve never really taken an interest in happiness. I’ve always believed that happiness had to come naturally — that thinking about it won’t necessarily make one happier, in fact, it may make one more miserable. So to read a former NPR foreign correspondent embark on a world tour to seek for the happiest (and unhappiest) places was really quite fascinating.

(By the way, I highly recommend this book, if you are seeking for life’s insights with a dash of wit and humour — served light.)

There were a lot gems of insights in the book, which I haven’t fully wrapped my head around yet, so I won’t be writing about them in this entry.

But at a more basic level, it did make me wonder what happiness means to me. And I think Weiner answered it for me when he wrote these words:

Blessed Idleness

Yes, that is precisely what happiness is to me — at least at this point in my life.

Just sitting at a cafe pondering about life with a great book, my laptop, a strong dose of caffeine and jazz playing in the background (or in my MP3 player). Blessed idleness — what I’m feeling now, as I write these words.

So what is happiness to you? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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I was under the impression that career = skill + passion + luck (or as Malcolm Gladwell likes to call it, planned happenstance.)

But I recently realized that I left an important part of the equation out. It has to do with how I view success — what gives me a sense of accomplishment. The thirst for accomplishment can someone overcome their limits.

Society dictates that success equals having a certain level of material wealth, power and authority. While it may be true for some people, (and while it would be nice for me to have that too,) these things aren’t going to truly make me feel accomplished. I can’t help but think, “so what?” and “what comes after this?”.

Deep down inside me, I’ve always known answer but have refused to admit to it because I think my definition of success is something society would probably categorize as childish.

So, the other week, I bought this career astrological report. And there it was — my definition of success, the one I spent my whole life running away from, on the first line.

Success, for you, means making a definite mark on the world.

It even goes on to say what I couldn’t articulate:

It is not material gain which motivates this deep ambition, nor simple vanity or desire for superficial status. It is a deep impulse to define yourself through your ability to make some kind of real and valuable change in the outer world through the exercise of your talents and abilities. Don’t try to hide from this impulse because you think it is “selfish”, or avoid its call because you are afraid of failure. You might be materially advantaged in a well-paying job, but you will not feel your life has purpose or meaning unless you know you have the power to make some small change in the world into which you were born.

(Let’s leave the credibility of astrology for another discussion.)

Childish as it is, I’m not impractical. I do realize that this is not something that I can accomplish overnight. In fact, I’m still very far from this.

But by publicly admitting it, I’m now one step closer to my calling — whatever it may be.

So, what does success mean to you?

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I was so inspired by it I self-snooped. And here are 3 of my deductions — do share yours in the comments or in a blog entry (do link back to this entry, so I can I read them)!

Snoop #1: What My Music Playlist Says About Me

Gosling says we can infer personality traits from the music we listen to. You’d might imagine someone who loves religious music as someone pious, perhaps conscientious and not very open to new experiences. I find this snoop a little devious because you may fall prey to false stereotyping, if you don’t dig deep enough. Here’s my deduction of my own playlist as an example.

Top 25 Songs on iTunes

From this playlist, you might deduce that I love anime music. Before you accuse me of being a socially eccentric, cosplaying otaku, let me explain my listening habits. While it’s true I love anime, I don’t enjoy anime music all that much. Consider this: I only listen to music via iTunes when I blog. Music with prominent vocals or noisy electric guitars interfere with my thinking. In contrast, music from the ARIA anime is very soothing so it inspires me to write.

Top 15 Artists on Last.FM

My Top 15 Artists list from Last.FM is a more accurate depiction of my music preferences because it’s sortable by time frame. My music tastes have changed over the years. When I was younger, I loved Korean pop music. Now that I’m older, I’m much more into Kubota Toshinobu’s music (genre: soul) and other soothing genres like R&B, Jazz and Bossa Nova.

Gosling points out that people who listen to jazz are generally calm and collected. While that is true of me most of the time, notice that there are 2 anomalies — Lee Hyolee and 2NE1. Both are remnants of my favorite genre during my teenage years. That should point out that I’m not yet 100% calm and collected. Occasionally, I’m still susceptible to reverting to my younger, boisterous, not-so-calm self.

Snoop #2: What My Office Cubicle Says About Me

My company culture is fairly conservative and our office design is one that’s very open. Everything – including the number of shoes under the table – is viewable on plain sight. As you can expect, there’s not much decor going on around. With that said, my cubicle is more barren than the others.

I have no photos of my friends or family, no memento or souvenir on my table. Gosling talks about how employees who are disconnected or disengaged from their work have less personal belongings in their cubicle. While that may be true for some people, I just prefer to separate my work from my personal life. I also avoid revealing too much of myself. See Snoop #3 for reason.

However, I do have three personal items displayed on an inconspicuous corner on my whiteboard. Two of them are postcards — one of a cute cat in a beret, another with a colorful abstract design. At first glance, one might think I like cats and colorful postcards. While that’s also true, there are deeper reasons to why I displayed them. When you flip the back of the postcards, you’d see that they both have personalized messages. The one with the cat is from a very, very close friend from university. The colorful one was from the customer service personnel who decided to accompany the item I ordered online from Swedish retailer, DesignTorget with a hand-written postcard saying “Hello from Sweden “. The postcards remind me of the value friendship and reaching out to strangers. Not coincidentally, both of which I wish I could have more.

The 3rd item is a photo of my project team along with Singapore’s Prime Minister and my company’s CEO. This one’s a no-brainer. It just means I’m ambitious.

Snoop #3: What My Wallpapers Say About Me

Gosling also dabbles a little into what our blogs, Facebook profiles and usernames reveal about us. Personally, I think there is an even better way to snoop online — by ransacking people’s Google Search history. But good luck getting your hands on that… hahaha.

For me though, I think the single most telling item of my core being is my desktop / mobile phone wallpaper. I’m sure most of my observant friends have noticed various artwork displayed on my personal electronic devices. They are all paintings from Audrey Kawasaki. I haven’t fully figured out why I am enchanted by them but they give a vague inkling that no matter where I am and what I am doing, a part of me will never change. This is my favorite painting:

My favorite piece from Audrey Kawasaki
百鬼夜行 – Hyakki Yakou – Hundred Demon Night Parade

Most my friends comment on how haunting and creepy these paintings are.

Perhaps that is reason why that I don’t display these paintings on my work-related devices and why I endeavor to show as little of myself as possible. The core of my being might just be too haunting and creepy for people to handle — a stark contrast to my nanyate self — the perpetually shining, affable, easygoing optimist.

What most don’t understand is that both sides are equally me.

For one to embody the light, one must know darkness.

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Photos first, enlightenment later.

Photos of Angkor Wat

This is the moat that surrounds the Angkor Wat temple at 5am.

This is Angkor Wat at dawn. The Cambodian skies are absolutely gorgeous. On hindsight, it’s probably not the sky that’s beautiful, but that it isn’t littered with skyscrapers like Singapore.

This is one of the towers of Angkor Wat. I took this shot from the inside of the building to give it a bit more perspective.

Another shot of Angkor Wat from the inside.

One of the hundreds (or was it thousands?) of depictions of Apsara at Angkor Wat. An apsara is a nymph. The Hindus believed that having pictures of apsaras will bring about good luck and ward off evil spirits.

A monk happened to be posing for a group of photographers as I was leaving Angkor Wat. What luck!

Photo of Ta Phrom

By the time we arrived at Ta Phrom temple, where Tomb Raider was filmed, I was so exhausted under the sweltering heat, I couldn’t be bothered to take photos. This was the only half-decent shot I took.

Photos of Bayon Temple

The amazing view that surrounds the entrance to Bayon Temple.

The entrance to Bayon temple.

Bayon Temple. This is probably the most magnificent temple of the three I visited at the Angkor Wat complex. I didn’t manage to visit the inside of this temple — not because it was under construction or anything…

…I was simply paralyzed by uneasiness as I approached the temple steps. Partially, it was fear. Due to an accident some years ago, I am afraid of heights. You could say that I’m trying too hard to rationalize my fear, but another part of the uneasiness came from a voice within. Something was telling me that I wasn’t ready to walk in yet. It was telling me that I spent all my time acquiring new skills to advance my career, strategizing the most efficient way to lead life that I had begun to neglect my spiritual and physical well-being. It was telling me that I had to learn to balance mind, body and soul before I could gain the right to step in.

So I’m taking life a little slower and trying not to suppress my soul so much. Hopefully, I’ll achieve that balance within this lifetime.

My Favorite Photo Taken in Cambodia

To end my entry, here’s my favorite photo from the entire trip. No post-processing was done.

This is taken at the Silver Pagoda complex at the Royal Palace in Phnom Penh. I loved how the silver stupa blends with the silver sky. I felt a strong connection with the structure. I couldn’t really identify the feeling but it sure helped capture this shot.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed the photos as much as I’ve enjoyed taking them! You can find more photos on my Flickr photostream.

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Although no world-changing ideas came out of it, I think everyone learned something. For me, it’s that social media is like dough. It is what you make of it. You have the choice to mold it into anything you want with any ingredients you like. How successful you are depends on how much your audience appreciates the outcome – just like your reputation amongst your friends. In a way, social media is a virtual extension of your social network.

Social Media and Corporate Culture

As a PR person, I had a different takeaway. The PR people disagreed with each other on certain points, and I think that’s a good thing. It means there’s diversity in the field, but more importantly it supported one of my suspicions.

Now I’m no social media veteran or expert since I’ve only be actively doing into this stuff for a year. As a newbie, I did notice from various social media blogs, books and events that some social media practitioners have a tendency to share a set of guidelines on social media best practices like being more engaging, being more transparent or being more authentic, for example.

This past year, I’ve learned that social media for companies isn’t just about best practices and emulating what the successful early adopters are doing. It’s about tailoring social media to corporate culture and the brand’s personality. Generating buzz for a health campaign is very different from generating buzz for a service provider. And while some brands could use all the buzz they can find, others are naturally buzz-generating. It’s not possible to expect all brands to be more transparent or more open because these traits may not be part of the corporate personality. Or worse, it may be in direct conflict to the corporate personality. And just because a brand’s not open doesn’t mean their doing bad job in the social media space. Think Apple, for example.

Social media is simply another social sphere for companies and individuals to establish their reputation in – so complementing a company’s social media actions with its personality is probably more effective than blindly following a set of best practices.

The Rise and Fall of the Bloggers’ Voice

As a blogger, this growing trend of blog monetization concerns me. I’m not talking about the bloggers who balance their original content with paid content – especially when they are endorsing brands they care about. Getting paid for one’s passion should be celebrated.

I’m talking about bloggers who make it their sole goal to be paid for blogging, and pander to every brand willing to pay them out there. At that point, they are compromising their credibility and integrity for money. Let me put this in another way:

Is your credibility only worth $200?

Okay, granted $200 is a lot of money for certain people. Or perhaps money is more important to them than airy virtues like honesty, credibility and integrity. But for me, these abstract virtues are far more important.

Here’s why: I started out blogging before the word “blogging” was invented. I kept a journal on a Geocities site back in 1996, where every entry had to be painstakingly coded in HTML. Prior to the Internet, only large organizations, newspapers and authors good enough to be published had voices. The fact that the ordinary man could have a voice was revolutionary.

And now, to be paid by these same organizations to compromise our voice seems like we’re going one step backwards.

So this is how I shaped my dough. I started out blogging because I can – and I don’t think I’ve strayed far.

How have you molded your dough?

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My latest favorite reads are a line-up of cynical, sadistic, pompous blogs written by investment bankers. I can go through half their archives in one sitting and re-read some of their entries.

Something about their bitterness is very captivating.

Reason #1: Envy

I know it’s probably very sick of me but I have to admit that I really enjoy reading about their misery. I think a small part of enjoyment comes from envy – envious for their ridiculously large paychecks. I don’t particularly desire having that much money – especially at the expense of so many important things in life – but it’s only human to be envious of what you don’t have.

Reason #2: Relief

Another part of my enjoyment comes from relief – relief that I do not have to work 100 hours every week to prove my worth to my boss. (Unfortunately, I do have to work 100-hour weeks once a while though, so I’m not exactly doing well on the work-life balance scale either. But at least I have some sort of a life outside of work.)

Reason #3: Respect

With that said, where I derive the bulk of enjoyment is from respect. It takes incredible amount of perseverance and dedication to put up with the amount of crap they do for the sake of one thing, which in their case is likely money, prestige or some derivative of both. This respect is the same admiration I have for my friend who I wrote about last month.

Why it stops at respect

Unlike all these i-bankers and jazz musicians, I really don’t think I can dedicate myself to one thing for the rest of my life. I was just not born to have particularly deep desires. I don’t need to swim in a pool of money. I don’t need presidential-level power or prestige. I don’t crave to be loved by everyone I meet. I don’t need to amount to legendary greatness, although I do think I am capable of it – if only I desired for it.

But alas, all I want is to have a job that I enjoy doing, afford a comfortable lifestyle and some time left over for some quality “me” time so I can seek more wisdom and knowledge.

Yes, my strongest desire is probably to gain wisdom and a breadth of knowledge. (There’s a not-so-subtle difference between the two, but let’s leave that for another entry). And even then I’m not dedicated enough to go back to school for it. I just want to know why the world works the way it does, why humans think, feel and act the way they do, why I am not as predictable as I would like to be, and what I can do to change that.

There’s enough satisfaction in my journey to seek wisdom and knowledge that I don’t really need to have an end-goal to justify my life.

In return for my relatively unpassionate, nonchalant life, I don’t have to suffer extreme pain or happiness – and this stability matters much more to me than a seven-figure paycheck (at least for now).

In some sick and twisted way, I guess reading about the bane of slaving for money and prestige validates my chosen lifestyle. Knowing that greatness comes slapped with a hefty price tag that involves slavery, deception, denial and insecurity has allowed me to be grateful for my life of mediocrity and moderation.

So here are some i-banking blogs I read religiously, in case you aspire to be as sick as I am or as sick as they are (whichever floats your boat better):

• Stuff Investment Bankers Like
• Mergers and Inquisitions
• Leveraged Sell-Out

Dear Readers, do you have any genre of blogs you like to read? Are you as sick as I am when it comes to validating your pleasures with the misery of others? If you are working, do you enjoy your job? Why or why not? And what are your working hours like?

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I saw a sign saying “禁带宠物” (that means “do not bring pets”).

The character 宠 really caught my eye. It’s pronounced as “chong”. As a standalone character it’s the verb “to spoil”, as in “to spoil your kids”. Pets are known as 宠物 or “spoiled animals”.

The character really shines when you analyze how it was made.

The hat-looking radical represents the roof of a house. The radical in the bottom is the character for dragon. So the ancient Chinese equated “to spoil” with keeping a dragon at home.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with ancient Chinese culture, dragons were highly revered animals – revered highly enough to represent the emperor. So having a dragon at home would most definitely mean that you would spoil it. Alternatively, it could mean that to spoil is to be the dragon’s (or emperor’s) favorite.

That’s just ingenius!

Guess that was just one of those fleeting moments where my awe at the beauty of the language temporarily overcomes my hatred for memorizing pictographs.

[edit] Lookie what I found! A site dedicated to Chinese Etymology![/edit]

Do you have any particular word or character (in any language) that you fancy? Do share!

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